


How to end a centuries long war with aggressive babysitting

by GivemeanID



Series: This is what happen when I'm being enabled [10]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Gen, Love at First Sight, Tobi the super babysitter, some people have animal traits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22738663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GivemeanID/pseuds/GivemeanID
Summary: A guide by Tobirama Senju.************Madara had been afraid that the big cat that had been spoted several times in the forest was a skin-changer out for children.He was not technically wrong.
Series: This is what happen when I'm being enabled [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1551997
Comments: 90
Kudos: 369





	How to end a centuries long war with aggressive babysitting

**Author's Note:**

> Enabling for this one is on Shiver_Mint :)

Madara was worried. Kagami was late, again, for the fourth time this week. The little boy had disappeared inside the forest, and Madara couldn't sense him. He always came back, so it could be worse, but the kid refused to say where he had been, or with who. Madara had sent adults after him once, but the child had somehow managed to loose them. Madara hadn't known whether to be proud or very very angry.

Kagami wasn't the only one pulling these little stunts. There was at least seven other kids doing this in the Uchiha compound alone. And Madara had heard rumors from the Senju too, and the Nara, and the Akimichi, the Yamanaka, the Inuzuka and even the Hyuga ! It was driving him crazy. Because with these rumors of children escaping adults' sights and trudging in the forest came rumors of a big cat sighting. And these could be three thing.

One, it could be a real big cat roaming the land. Bad, but manageable.

Two, it could be a summon. Plain bad, must be taken care of as soon as confirmed.

Three, it could be a skin-changer from another clan trying to lure children away to kidnap them. And it was the absolute worst situation.

Rather than staying there and going grey from imagining all the ways things could go south, Madara decided to search the forest for Kagami. He grabbed his gunbai, his armor and Izuna and took off in the direction Kagami was last seen.

************

After two hours walking through the trees, bashing a wailing Izuna over the head with his gunbai so his dear brother would just shut up, and letting out a considerable number of swearwords, Madara still hadn't found Kagami. By Amaterasu's knickers ! he was gonna put the damn kid on a leash.

And because the gods reveled in his suffering, it was at that exact moment that they crossed path with Hashirama and Mito. If Madara had been less attached to his dignity, he would have cried. Immediately, Hashirama cried from delight at the sight of "His Best Friend In The Whole Universe" and jumped the Uchiha Clan Head. Madara cringed internally, like everytime Hashirama was using that expression (he was suspecting the Senju to do it on purpose) and barely escaped Hashirama's octopus hug. He considered setting the big fool on fire but was stopped by Mito's cool smile and threatening glare.

The Uzumaki woman was standing a few feet from where her husband was trying to crush Madara in a hug, poised and dignified, her fox hear plastered on the side of her head, her tail dissimulated by the long folds of her green kimono. Mito was the only known skin-changer in the Senju Clan (the Uchiha had two, Hikaku and his sister, both of them panthers) and she was ruthless and vicious. Madara had the priviledge to see her at work once, against a group of bloodline hunters, and the scene still featured in his nightmares (and he would be lying if he said he hadn't felt hot under the collar seeing her go to town on these fuckers (but that was secret he was gonna take in his grave)).

\- Madara-sama, she said coolly, tilting her head on the side just enough to be threatening.  
\- Mito-hime, he answered, on his guards.

Thanks Amaterasu for small mercies, Hashirama had stopped behaving like an overgrown child. He was now looking at his wife like a dog was looking at his master, with his big brown eyes full of adoration. Madara found it disgusting (he was not jealous. Not at all. Nope).

\- May I know why your are here ? she asked, and her voice was a sharp blade coated in honey.  
\- A child of ours disappeared. We're looking for him. And you ? This is not Senju land.  
\- Neither is this Uchiha land...

Izuna was looking wildly between them as they stared each other down. Finally, Hashirama was the one to answer.

\- We're going to collect Tobi ! he said cheerfully.

Mito didn't facepalm, but Madara could tell this was a close thing. He could almost sympathize with her. Almost.

\- Ah ? What, you have to look after the White Demon ? Isn't he a little old for that ? Izuna asked.  
\- He tends to forget time when he's in his animal form, Hashirama said immediately.

This time, Mito facepalmed. Madara felt his right eye twitch. How the big log managed to be Clan Head - and not lead his people to ruin - while also being suc an oblivious idiot was beyond him. He didn't envy the Uzumaki Fox or the White Demon one bit. Izuna was an imbecile too (especially when pretty deadly people were involved (and sometimes Madara despaired for his brother's inexistant preservation instincts)) but at least he knew when to keep his mouth shut.

Then he registered the whole "The White Demon is a skin changer" thing. He felt cold. Could it be...?

\- Wait, your brother's a skin-changer ? Izuna exclaimed, but he looks very human !  
\- He's wearing a minor henge, Mito said before Hashirama could open his mouth, now if you may excuse us...

Madara beat her to the spot.

\- What kind of animal does he change into ?  
\- Oh, well, he's a sn...

Mito had slapped her hand on her husband's mouth and gave him a face that was at the same time very friendly and a clear threat of death via various painful things being stabbed through various painful bodyparts not meant to be stabbed. Madara shivered (this was fear, not arousal. Izuna was NOT rubbing off on him).

\- We need to go, she said, gentlemen...

As she moved away, dragging a very pale Hashirama behind her, Madara ran to get to her level, Izuna on his heels.

\- We're coming with you !  
\- Didn't you have a child to find ?

Madara didn't answered. Mito just rolled her eyes.

\- As you wish, Uchiha, she sighed.

************

They walked for several minutes, before Mito made them stop, sent a last calculative look to the Uchiha brother and smiled like a fox. Madara immediately became wary. Izuna was too busy being curious about his rival to remark they might have walked straight into a trap. Mito traced a seal on the ground and Madara tensed, ready to counter whatever she might throw at them. But the seal's only effect was to make the air shimmer and suddenly a large clearing appeared in front of them.

And in the middle of that clearing, there was a giganting snow leopard lying on the grass, sleeping soundly, surrounded by napping children. And among them, Kagami.

Madara almost charged into the clearing to grab the kid, but Mito put her hand on his arm, effectively stopping him. Then she whistled a low note and the beast's red eyes opened, sharp, like he hadn't been sleeping at all. The leopard uncoiled from his curled position with slow movements, not to wake the children up, his eyes still fixated on the four ninjas at the entry of the clearing. He walked to them and when he was finally close enough to touch, he changed. A second there was a snow leopard tall enough to reach Madara's chest, the next there was a very naked Tobirama Senju, with leopard's ear in lieu of his human ones, and a tail.

Madara felt his eyes widen, because damn ! that was a lot of bare skin and muscles. And the whipping tail was very distracting. Izuna squeaked, and Madara could imagine all the dirty thoughts going through his brother's mind at the moment.

\- What are they doing here ? Tobirama growled.  
\- We met them on the way, and Hashirama couldn't keep his mouth shut, Mito deadpanned.

Tobirama scowled at his brother who had the decency to look sheepish. Mito gave his a yukata to cover himself.

\- Thank you sister, Tobirama mumbled as he put the garment on.

Without according an ounce of attention to the Uchiha brothers, he turned on his heels to go wake up the children.

\- Hey ! Madara cried as he was about to gently shake Kagami out of sleep, what are you doing with these kids ?! Seriously, they're from every clan this side of the country ! Are you trying to kidnap them ?!

Tobirama's face whipped in his direction, eyes wild and teeth bared. In two strides, he was towering in front of the Uchiha Clan Head, snarling.

\- I am not kidnapping anyone, Uchiha ! Who do you take me for ?! I am guarding them, protecting them so they can be children without having to worry about clan feuds and danger ! I would never do anything to children !

Madara might be slightly aroused by the display of anger. Izuna was shamelessly drooling.

\- Even the Uchiha one ? he asked tentatively.  
\- Yes, even them. I am not stupid enough to make a difference between children based on their family name.

Madara inhaled sharply.

\- You protect children, he deadpanned.  
\- Yes. I already said that.  
\- You protect children !  
\- What is wrong with you ?!

Blushing madly, Madara turned to Hashirama.

\- About the peace thing, I want to reconsider my position, he said.

Hashirama's scream of joy woke all the kids.

************

Years later, as he watched Uchiha and Senju children ride on Tobirama's back as he was in his leopard form, Madara knew he had made the right decision.

**Author's Note:**

> In this AU, some people have animal traits (it's usually the ears and the tail) and they can change in their animal form. It is not knows why or how, it just happens. Ninjas with animal traits tend to hide them under a henge, so they can use their animal form for infiltration missions.


End file.
